Expectations… they get me every time. It can be disheartening when the people closest to you don’t show up like you want them to. And even harder still when you feel that throws your relationship off balance. But it all comes back to your own expectations for that person or situation and I’m learning that it’s important to let go of our preconceived ideas of how others should behave. We can only control ourselves and even though that can be tough, it can also be a little bit relieving!
Despite knowing it’s importance, self care doesn’t come easy and requires effort on my part. But by making more of an effort, I’m beginning to realize the truth to Shakespeare’s words. Here is a list of advice to help you avoid the Heartaches of Expectation:
- Make sure you are expressing yourself. No one can read your mind or magically know when you need help. If you need someone to be there for you.. tell them!
- Try not to take on more than you can handle alone. Avoid planning tasks or events that force you to rely on others in order to get them done. That way, if you unexpectedly find yourself having to work on something alone, you know it’s within your ability. AND you can feel good about accomplishing a tough project! PLUS, on the flip side, when you do receive help, it feels like a treat and the workload is pleasantly lighter than you’d expect!
- When you can’t follow #2, refer back to #1. Sometimes you just find yourself in a task that is too big for your own two hands. And that’s ok!! Just refer back to #1 and be sure to EXPRESS how much help you need and the way you are feeling. Make sure people understand what you are asking of them and what you need. Remember that no one can know how you are feeling unless you tell them!
- Be aware of the relationships that take more than they give. It doesn’t mean these relationships are bad, but perhaps these are the relationships that aren’t meeting your expectations. Sometimes simply becoming aware can set you free.
- Take care of yourself and practice gratitude. Expect a little less and give thanks a little more.